Previous work has shown that supporting close others in times of stress is an important component of satisfying stable relationships. However, providing effective support can be difficult and may come at a cost to the provider. In the present studies, I hypothesized that providing social support to close others may deplete self-regulatory resources---particularly when providers are concerned about their support effectiveness or feel the need to regulate their emotions. I also predicted that providing support for positive events (which may involve less concerns and emotion regulation) may boost self-regulatory resources. In Study 1, a 14-day diary study, participants who reported greater effectiveness concerns and emotion regulation while providing support showed greater depletion as evidenced by greater feelings of depletion, poorer Stroop task performance, and less regulated behaviors (e.g., snapping at close others, overeating).

Positive event support was not associated with greater depletion outcomes and was associated with greater goal progress. In Study 2, a couples' laboratory study, I manipulated how concerned individuals were about providing effective support to their romantic partner for a stressful speech task and found that individuals with greater concerns about providing quality support to their partner showed greater evidence of depletion on a hand-grip task after providing support. Finally, Study 3, a laboratory study involved support provisions to a confederate peer, demonstrated that it is the act of providing support (and not just listening to events) that leads to depletion. Taken together, these studies suggest that when individuals are particularly concerned about providing effective support and regulating their emotions, they may incur a cost to the self in terms of reduced self-regulatory resources.

Individuals also seem more likely to show concerns and emotion regulation when providing support for negative, as opposed to positive, events.